Stuck in Limbo

I heard from my doctor about my right ear.  They made the 3D modeling scan and it strongly suggested that the right ear has the same or similar bones structure as the left ear.  So much for simplicity.  My doctor suggested I take the weekend to think about what I wanted to do, and I did.  I also went to Baltimore to visit my friends... it was hard to visit and try to make a decision.  After a nice weekend and an 8 hour trip home thanks to 5 hours of traffic on the George Washington Bridge I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do.    (click "read more")

Recovering

I spent about 2 days completely shutting everyone out.  If you sent me or my family messages, from the absolute bottom of my heart thank you, knowing that people were thinking of me just means the world to me.  Even if I didn't respond right away or at all, please know it really helped.  I just needed to spend those 2 or 3 days completely in my own head, but ignoring my thoughts.  Eventually though, on Sunday or Monday, my parents and I went out for dinner.  I was so uncomfortable being outside and chatting, I still wanted time to process.   (click "read more")

Heartbroken, numb, and not wanting to hope

To everyone who has sent me and my family messages of love and support thank you so much.  It means the world to me and I'm sorry I haven't been responding I just... haven't been feeling like talking much.  

Smooth Sailing
 
Yesterday I checked into the hospital at 6am, tired but excited.  They set me up with a hospital gown, took my vitals, put a warm blanket over me.  I relaxed into the bed, a young doctor from anesthesia came down and put in my IV.  It was a big needle but they had used another big needle to numb the area first so any discomfort was totally mental and very minimal.  The doctor's fellows came and took my information, confirmed my penicillin allergy, and got my consent.  Everything was going so smoothly, just like it had through the whole process.  The young anesthesia doctor put something into my IV to relax me and I started to drift off as my parents and brother wished me luck and said goodbye as they wheeled me into the operating room.  They moved me onto the table and put a mask over my face and I just relaxed into sleep, totally ready.   (click "read more")

The Night Before

About 19 years ago my parents took their (adorable and highly intelligent :P) daughter to the doctor because something seemed wrong.  The doctor was skeptical, after all I had language, but he referred them to an audiologist.  The audiologist confirmed their fears I had a hearing loss, she fitted me with hearing aids, and I started speech therapy, which I continued with through 3rd grade.

I lost more hearing in kindergarten, around 3rd grade, and at the end of high school.  Now I have a moderate-severe loss which means when I take my hearing aids out I basically hear nothing.  (click "read more")